A Soldiers Life
by Alana Haseen
Summary: PG13 for language and "sick" humor. The POV changes a lot but you should be able ta tell who is who. I dont own anyone. Though I can wish I did. Heh heh heh


Summary: To be honest I dont know where I am going with this fic. I know I am going to send Duo and Heero on a mission, I know I will have eventual pairings. Probably Wufei/Heero, and Quatre and someone. I havent figured out whether or not I want to bother my friend and make it Trowa/Quatre. Something will happen, I dont know what, but when it does happen I will be sure to let you know.   
  
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Rate: PG13- Pretty gross humor that only I can be so proud of posting.   
  
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Disclaimer: I dont own Gundam Wing, the characters or the words used to make this story. I own the story and some of the good one-liners. Trowa is based on one of my friends, the sarcastic ass of the five of us. This was written at a horrible time for me so it seems kinda...Funny. I give myself credit for that. Naw but each Gundam character reminds me of those 4 losers I hung around with. Past tense is pretty damn obvious. They know who they are. Read and review if ya want. If not then whatever.   
  
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uA Soldier's Life/u   
  
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-Alana Haseen "Edited by the magnificently complicated Hawk Martin"   
  
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A once forgotten pain has come back again. I thought I could bury it and forget about its existence; but, alas, it is driving me insane. To see...To hear. It is all just fun and games, isn't it? Give myself a lot of credit, though. I must be strong if I'm not dead from the insanity. Just have to keep sayin' one word in my little head that will keep me from doin' or sayin' anything I'll regret later on.   
  
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Respect.  
  
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A small word that holds together such magnificent walls. A simple word with such a strength. So, even the weak are strong, aren't they? Isn't that what it all comes down to?   
  
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Each time I think something, that thing gets crushed. Everytime I look at it I know it would've happened in the first place. It just reminds me that I can never get close; just reminds me to keep a safe distance and I'll be okay. Insane, yes, but okay. What is shown before my eyes is stronger and been there longer then I could ever have been. Not that I have become envious of it--just adapted. I know my place and I don't wanna argue with that. I've done enough arguin'.   
  
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I don't recall ever hearin' anyone say that life was fair, but DAMN if it has to be this unfair. I mean, come on, folks! Fifteen years of livin' hell and you can't show a little compassion? So much death, so much torture; and you plan on addin' more? If you have that much time to waste, then go bother someone new--stop botherin' me for a change. But, no, course not. You just LOVE to bother me, don't you?   
  
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The worst thing you could throw at me has already been thrown. Yay you. You torture me by havin' me participate only when I'm needed. Never when I'm wanted because there isn't the time for that; nope, only when I'm needed. And like the sucker I am, I just jump at any point to participate, knowing that it's only 'cuz I'm needed. Sad thing is I should be bitter. I should be flaming pissed and loathing, but I just can't do it. I was the moron who jumped in front of the oncoming car. It's not like anyone made me do that. So, alas, I do take another fall, not a small one either--a long and never-ending fall. One that means, in the end, I am just gunna be alone again.   
  
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Heh. Well, as soon as this war is over I'm gonna burn all of my entries. Just so I won't have proof of being weak at all. Shit. Scythe needs a bit of repairin' before Chibi Hee-Chan drags me out on another mission.   
  
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-Shinigami   
  
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Duo shrugged and then stood up. Heero had been rapidly knocking and shouting at the door in the fatal, yet pointless attempt to get his attention. The knocking and shouting ceased for a moment and, just as soon as Duo reached the door to open it, it started again. Opening the door slowly, he made a smart-ass comment.   
  
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"Dear god Hee-Chan. Are your balls always this active or is it just my natural beauty that makes them so crazy?" He started laughing maniacally, but then stopped his giggling when he caught one of the ever-popular death glares. He never could understand why Heero thought he was so damn intimidating with that glare; it's not like he ever did anything extremely major that the others hadn't done. There was a long silence as Duo's tired eyes looked into the death glare with defiance and soon enough he became restless.   
  
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"Right, well I only have 5 minutes to not talk so we better hurry it up. Hell is awaitin' my repairs." Duo became even more frustrated and asked, "Why the hell were ya knockin so much, Hee? Want somethin'?"   
  
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"Duo, we have a mission in 24 hours, DeathscytheHell is only 95% complete and your trying to sleep. Get going."   
  
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"'ONLY 95% COMPLETE'?!" Duo rampaged. "WHAT THE HELL?! Calm down Duo; DEAR GOD HEE-CHAN!!"   
  
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"Quatre sent me up to tell you that he is not going to make you breakfast this morning. But, you should start on Hell."   
  
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Duo groaned.  
  
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"Aw man, that means burnt toast again. Everyone else up?"   
  
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"Hn." Heero glared once more and then walked away, heading to the huge set of stairs.   
  
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"I take that as a yes."   
  
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Duo closed the door and looked around at his room. He noticed his things scattered across the floor. It wasn't that he was a real messy person; though that helped a lot, it was that he liked being able to see everything clearer. He didn't even have all that much stuff either--being in a war did that to you--it was all just spread out evenly. Pulling on the cleanest pair of black jeans he could and throwing on a plaid grey/black shirt, he hid his notebook and walked into the hall.   
  
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It was a big hall, too. Seven feet wide and about fifty long. At least that's what Duo thought it was; he never really found out himself. He was always too busy playing pranks on unsuspecting Wufei or the stupid perfect soldier. Who, in the end, wasn't stupid at all but that wasn't the point, now was it? Duo started down the same stairs that Heero went down; but, seeing the door to the Gundam hanger open, Duo knew that Heero would not join the rest of the pilots for breakfast. Getting to the end of the stairs, Duo headed straight into the kitchen.   
  
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No one ever ate in the dining room. Duo wasn't really allowed, unless the others were there of course, but that was because he was known to break the china. He didn't know what the fuss was about. Just because he tried to play Frisbee with a glass saucer didn't mean he was the one who broke half the china dishes. So everyone, with the exception of stick-up-ass Heero who was on his laptop in the hanger, was in the kitchen when Duo got in there. Quatre was sitting at the counter with a cup of tea and the morning paper; Trowa was sitting to Quatre's right drinking hot chocolate and playing solitare, while Wufei was standing by the fridge, trying to find out what he wanted to eat.   
  
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"Oh--good morning, Duo."   
  
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Quatre tore his eyes from the paper to look at Duo smiling, while Trowa continued playing his cards and gagged. In Duo's opinion Quat was too nice--WAY too nice. He could see it now actually: Heero could be banging the hell out of Quat and he would still have the energy to breathe and say good morning. Duo shuttered at the image and started laughing. Quatre, who was very confused, just went back to his paper and tea. Duo laughed for a good minute, then ran up behind Quatre, and gave him a giant bear hug. Quatre was so shocked he spilled a bit of tea on his paper.   
  
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"Quaty," whined Duo, holding on tightly.   
  
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"Can I help you Duo?" asked Quatre knowing that a long argument about toast was awaiting him.   
  
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"Hee-Chan said you weren't gunna make breakfast this morning; tell me he lied." Duo continued to whine, but let go of Quatre and gave the blonde his puppy eyes. Trowa laughed and Wufei nearly spit out the apple he was eating.   
  
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"No, Duo, Heero didn't lie. You can make it yourself." Typical Quatre was trying to teach Duo some independence. Silly, silly Quatre.   
  
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"Quat, I hate to interrupt, but...." Trowa was started, but was cut off rather quickly by Quatre.   
  
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"No, you don't."   
  
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"Okay, fine...But I'm going to anyway. Do you really want to burn the house down?"   
  
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Trowa smirked and shifted his eyes from Quatre to Duo, who put two pieces of toast into the toaster and slowly pulled the lever down.   
  
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"Of course not. Duo should know how to cook by now." Quatre went right back to his tea and paper.   
  
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"Quat, it's Duo and toast. DUO and toast. Not just any toast either--French toast, the toast of the French. Inventors of mayonnaise and vibrating spoons, not to mention what else the horny bastards came up with. I mean, good lord; they created pre-vibrated turkeys and, my personal favorite, sparkly condoms." Trowa's smirk grew wider as Quatre glared, rolling up his paper, he hit Trowa over the head.   
  
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"That's enough Trowa." Quatre was obviously disgusted.   
  
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"You're right. I forgot you liked the studded, glow-in-the-dark ones..." Trowa was just pushing Quatre's buttons now. "...With Heero inside of it." Duo started laughing maniacally and gave Trowa a pat on the back.   
  
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"Good one, man."   
  
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Duo then put his nose in the air and sniffed. "Do you smell smoke? Or is it just me? DAMNIT! My toast!"   
  
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"Oh, Duo..." Quatre stood up and followed Duo, who sprinted to the toaster to get his burnt toast.   
  
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"Here we go again...Quat, the fire extinguisher is next to the toaster." Trowa laughed and then went back to his solitaire game.   
  
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"You would think that after so many billions of pieces of toast Quatre would just give up in teaching Duo how to cook." Wufei was now seated in Quatres unoccupied seat. Trowa looked up from his game and vibrant green met deep black. They held the same position, neither one blinking, until Duo came bounding over and threw his arms around Trowa's waist. Both boys blushed and as Trowa turned to see what Duo wanted Wufei took the chance to leave.   
  
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"Twowa, you know you love me!" Duo gave Trowa the same puppy eyes he had given Quatre earlier.   
  
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"...I always wanted a puppy. I shall name you Toast--Toast, the puppy." Trowa was looking at Duo with a laugh in his voice.   
  
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"You know you love me Twowa..." Duo hugged Trowa harder and refused to let go.   
  
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"Underneath all that hate, maybe, but in the end I love me more." Trowa laughed even more when he saw Duo pout. "All right, what do you want?"   
  
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"I want toast, Trowa." Giving his best 'I'm innocent' smile, Duo finally let go of Trowa.   
  
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"So, you burn your toast and that automatically means someone else has to make it for you?"   
  
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"Please Trowa. It's not like I meant to burn the toast!" Duo made an attempt to defend himself, but, alas, doing so against Trowa was pointless.   
  
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"No, of course not, Duo. The toaster is just out to get you."   
  
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"I hate you, Trowa." A glare was sent from Duo to Trowa and Trowa just smirked.   
  
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"No, you don't. I'm too charming," Trowa gave his own 'I'm innocent, only not' grin.   
  
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"PLEEASE TWOWA!"   
  
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"Okay, fine, Duo. But this is the last time I am making you toast after you burn it."   
  
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"You said that last time."   
  
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"I did?" Trowa asked, trying to think of the last time he made Duo toast.   
  
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"No, wait--that was Wufei. Nevermind! Thank you Twowa!" Duo gave Trowa a big hug and pranced around.   
  
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"Just don't do any practical jokes to me and we'll call it even." Trowa put the toast in and got the butter out.   
  
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"You'll just get me back. Ten times worse too"   
  
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Duo watched Trowa take the toast out and butter it.   
  
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"You better go start on Deathscythe Hell or Heero will kill you..."   
  
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"SHIT! Thanks, Trowa!!" Duo gave Trowa another hug and then ran out of the room, toast in hand. He knew Heero would kill him if he were late to fixing his Gundam. Stick-up-ass just was that way.   
  
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Heh heh heh. Well those of you that know me know that my grammer is HORRIBLE so you probably would see corrections that look familiar. Thank ya Hawk for correcting my grammer. I added in that little part about you being "magnificently complicated" ::scoffs:: Yeah OK Hawk. Heh heh heh. So feel free ta read over it and hell if ya find MORE grammer mistakes go ahead and e-mail or review it for me, I'd appreciate that. Though some of my grammer, I admit, is just plain horrible so do bear with me. My usual talk is lazy so I don't use many -ing endings and to and you are always ta and ya. Like I tell everyone. Grammer is not my strong point.   
  
Thanx for readin! 


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